M4A Who would like to critique an Erotica story I wrote?

Awesome.. Here is the first section. Just let me know what you are thinking and I am sorry, but is starts out kind of slow. I am a detail whore. By the way, are you male/female/age?

The office called. I was being sent out on a business trip for some new product training. I found this odd, because they haven’t sent me out of town in years. Every day I come into the office and check my email, get a cup of coffee, and type up quotes for the outside salesmen. After work I go to the gym for an hour and then back to home to her. I have been in a sexless marriage for the better part of a decade. It didn’t start off that way, no, she used to enjoy having sex. We weren’t extreme or anything, but at least twice a week I got to dip my thick 7 inch penis in her. Ahh, my twenties. Oh how I have missed you. Life changes after you have a kid or two and she decides that you are not as important as the latest sitcom or reality show. I recall the first time I met my wife. We were out with some mutual friends. She walked into the bar wearing a tight pair of jeans. The kind that showcased a spectacular ass and a set of toned legs that I wanted to spend days licking up and down. She had ha low cut top on and every time she would laugh, he would lean in letting the top flop forward revealing a magnificent set of C cup breasts. We started talking and the next thing I knew I had a date. I picked her up and we went to dinner, some dancing, and then a few drinks. Fairly standard, but then we ended up at a local park. We never got out of the car. We just sort of sat there and talked. I figured that was going to be the end of the evening, but I was wrong. Before I could say anything further, she leaned in and kissed me. After a few minutes of kissing I reached up and started cupping one of her heavy boobs. She moaned in delight and we went on heavy petting for a while. Every now and then she would brush her hand up against my ever increasing in size cock. I would grunt a little, trying to lay the hint “hey play with it.” She must have read my message. She did another quick brush move, and I stopped her hand. I placed it on the outside of my cargo shorts. It didn’t take long for her to slide her hand down my leg and up the shorts to my throbbing cock. I moaned a bit when she took hold of it and began to thrust my hips a tad as she stroked it through my boxers. This lasted another few minutes, but it was great. She had me so excited the front of my boxers were slick from all the pre-cum I was leaking. I needed more. She pulled her hand out of my shorts and grabbed ahold of the zipper. In one motion she had my zipper down and her hand fumbling to release my engorged penis. I must have impressed her, because she had a look of ecstasy and slight fear in her eyes. “Oh dear lord” came out of her mouth. She started to stoke my hard cock, which felt good, but she hadn’t lubed it up at all so after a few strokes it stated to lose the initial pleasure. That didn’t last long. I was giving her a deep passionate kiss, when she broke the kiss with a snap and leaned down to my waiting penis. At first she just licked around the head. Swirling her tongue around the head and top of the shaft, but then she started to lick it up and down the shaft getting it nice and wet. Her hand continued to stroke my shaft with the motion of her licks, which now felt amazing. He took the head of my cock into her mouth and slowly sucked and licked at the same time. I grunted a little, as it was insanely good feeling. She then took more of my shaft in her mouth, and kept going. I was amazed to see that she could get almost my entire dick in her mouth. I saw stars when I felt the back of her throat with the tip of my dick. She continued to bob up and down on my pole for a few more minutes. As she bobbed up and down, she used her hand to cover the area she could not get in. Every fifth or sixth stroke she would take her hand away and take the entire shaft down her throat. I twisted and moaned in joy. I never let go of her glorious tits, moving from one to the other outside her shirt. I was getting close, I could feel the spunk welling up in my ever tightening sack. I grabbed the back of her head and was thrusting like a mad man, until I could stand it no more. I shouted “I’m cumming!” She slide to the tip of my penis and latched on. I pushed my hips up and bucked like a stallion. Grunting and moaning, shooting wads of hot cum in her mouth. She held on like a pit bull, never letting a drip out of her hot, waiting mouth. That was the first time I had actually had a girl swallow my semen. I had seen it in porno movies before, but have always had the girls that would pull away and let it explode all over the place or they would let me cum in their mouth, but that usually ended with it spilling all over me and getting on my underwear. Talk about an uncomfortable walk home with that going on downstairs! She held on until the last drop. It even started to tickle too much from her licking my sensitive head. I was hooked from that point on.

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