I am sure I will be downvoted to below the basement for this, but it's honestly how I feel.

I deal with anxiety in every single aspect of my life. From the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep it's there. It's been that way since I was an infant. I have displayed anxiety traits since I was a baby. It's too bad my parents didn't believe in therapy because it would have helped me if I would have gotten in sooner. Nobody will medicate my anxiety (seen 3 specialists) because I am able to identify and separate what I should and should not have anxiety over. While I can do this it does not stop those irrational bits from taking my mind over and leaving me paralyzed in fear. This is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life.

For all intents and purposes we are married. We present ourselves as married and share absolutely everything. The is no he and I, we are a 100% we from beginning to end. There's no 'me' things to focus on. No there's no reason to be married immediately. We can wait months or years and everything would end up alright. That's simply not what I want to do.

In the end I know I'm making the right choice because I have 0 anxiety about the act of marrying him. I also have 0 anxiety about the things you are writing about waiting and focusing on ourselves. For someone that has anxiety about things as small as being written up for wearing a long sleeve shirt this is huge. Its easy to induce anxiety and before posting I was anxious about people telling me to wait/he's not good enough/everything's a mistake. I'm currently having anxiety/thinking about returning a 5 dollar shirt because it might not be cute enough to spend 5 bucks on.

I have absolutely zero anxiety about getting married at 19 and spending the rest of my life with this man, which reassures me that this is the right choice for me.