I know after reading this you're probably think I'm pathetic and crazy but I'm in so much pain, it's unbearable. Me and my boyfriend met online about 3 or so years ago. I was somewhat underage and we couldn't be together physically. So we stayed in a long distance relationship and kept it from everyone until I tuned 18. We played every game together and we would skype and talk while we did. We even stayed on skype over night and slept like that. We were always in contact. We had some bad fights but we still always worked it out. When I turned 18, I got my stuff together and by November I bought a plane ticket to go be with him. It was literally a dream when he hugged me for the first time. We did everything together. Problem was we were living in a garage together all the time. We were rooming with someone and we used it as a room. Everything was great. We went out together, played games together and just cuddle. Time went on we would fight like bad fights. We would scream and yell at each other and it would get plan violent, it was so bad. But when we would make up and fix it. We were so good again but we continued to do it almost everyday. We loved each other and he said no matter what we will fix this. He gave me hugs everyday, we would listen to the same music together, we had sex like everyday (sometimes more) and we were happy but we weren't. It got so bad we decided I would go back home and visit my family. We both agreed we wouldn't break up. But so many times in our fights he would get mad and say he didn't want a relationship, he wanted to be alone. He didn't get much alone time because I didn't have a job but he did. He didn't want me to get a job right away because he wanted me to get use to a big city first as I came from a really small town. I do admit, I have really bad anxiety and I would have panic attacks sometimes when we would fight and it would make it worse as he didn't understand. He had me crying all the time. I was really reliant on him and he did pay for everything but I was searching for jobs at the time. On the way back home on the flight, he texted me that it was a mistake, he really didn't want me to leave, I was really his other half and told me not to be gone to long he already misses me. That he loved me and time will fly. Keep in mind I was in so much pain because I already missed him so much because I'm use to seeing him everyday. But after 2 days here we get into a fight and he starts getting distant even thought we made up. He finally called me and said I wanna break up, I don't wanna be with you or anyone. He said if he would have a gf it would be me but he wanted to be alone. I've been with this guy every since I was 15 and I'm in so much shock I feel like I'm in a dream. tl;dr. He seems so happy and I'm so sad. I keep thinking of the good times and I miss him and his hugs so bad. I don't have any friends really, he was my best friend, my rock and now he's gone. He said he still loves me, he just rather be alone. This is sad but I can't eat or sleep and I'm constantly on the verge or crying and sometimes I do and I can't stop. His aunt and everyone tells me he will be wanting me back in a few weeks but is that really true? We seemed perfect other then the fights but they were bad. I'm in so much pain I can't bear it. I can barely get out of bed. It's so bad and I need help. Is he gonna miss me? Will he want this again in a couple weeks or I should I really move on because I don't think I can. I love him so much. I'm waiting for him to tell me it was a mistake and we can try again. I can't believe it hurts so much. Will he want me back or am I crazy? Please help....please.