Hey, I stumbled across your post and I feel compelled to post because my boyfriend [29m] and myself [23f] had a similar conversation about this topic tonight. I am in your girlfriends position and my boyfriend is in your position. We have been dating for 4 months and he just told me tonight he doesn't like to text as much as me. (I am a frequent texter and was unaware he did not like the amount I text him). After I asked him what kinds of chores he was up to this afternoon, I became upset that he did not want to chat more or go into more detail. He said this: "OK. I know I'm being short with you right now, but after reading the article you sent me it got me thinking that texting all the time about everything can dilute our actual conversations (in person). Its in the third point the guy writes about. I love you and love talking with you but sometimes I just don't want to text everything that I'm doing. I realize this may be coming out of left field but its something I've always felt and the article kind of pinned down the necessity of saying it. Don't be upset that I'm trying to explain this through text. That's the point I'm trying to make. (There's irony somewhere in there)." [Article for reference = http://www.app.com/story/life/family/relationships/2015/04/06/reasons-marriage-just-work-anymore/25349495/ ]
Anyway, that's what he said. Of course, I was a little bit upset. I felt like he did not like to communicate with me in the same medium as I prefer. I told him I was upset he said that and he said, "We can talk about it later in person." The important thing he said to me was, "Listen. I love what we have. But..." He emphasized the fact that he loves me and is happy with me but we have a difference in communication.
I think that's what you have to do with your lady. I was initially upset because I was worried that I was annoying him with my frequent texts. He was worried that I would be upset if he didn't text back a good response. When we talked tonight in person, we were both able to get our points across. It was a stressful talk but we both agreed it was constructive and good for our relationship overall because now we understand one another better. Now I understand that he likes to talk in person and on the phone more, and he understands that I like to communicate my emotions and thoughts as they pop into my head. I told him I'm ok if he doesn't respond to my texts. I told him sometimes I just need to text him to express my self or vent. I told him I'm ok if he doesn't acknowledge my rant about my work day or funny thought I text as long as he reads it and at some point and we can discuss next time in person.
I think it's important in relationships to acknowledge and work around your differences. Relationships are work and if you're going to be in one you have to be willing to take and give criticism. You have to both be open to agreeing to disagree and still believe that the love and commitment you share for one another will be able to overcome any of these smaller issues.
Not wanting to text as much is a small issue. Just let her know you love your time together but let her know you like to live in the moment and do not always want to be tied to your phone. Let her know you think about her all the time but value in person communication much more. Ask her if there's ever a time she would rather be alone with her thoughts or if there's ever a time she was so caught up in living in the moment she did not care about anything else. I'm sure she will think of something. As soon as she identifies that it is sometimes nicer to live in the moment and as soon as she remembers how much more meaningful IRL/phone conversations are, she will understand, and maybe you can come to some sort of middle ground understanding like me and my boyfriend did. I hope this helps!