Me [29 M] with my gf [32F] of 7 years. I was finally ready to move on after years of trying to work things out. Now she suddenly wants to as well. Stay or go?

I wanted to be together, but she said I was like her brother and was not sexually attracted to me anymore.


Then a few nights later, in the middle of the night something happened and we fooled around (not actual sex). This was the first sexual contact in over 2 years.

Read those two quotes. Now understand what is happening: She doesn't see you as a sexual being. You are a wallet to her. You provide her with a place she can crap out all of her emotional bullshit without having to invest anything in return. Suddenly, a new woman enters the picture. She realizes that this new woman poses a threat to the good thing she has (i.e. you doing all of the duties of a boyfriend without her having to provide you with any of the benefits of a girlfriend).

In order to prevent her loss of her wallet/emotional tampon (i.e., you), she first tries to bluff by making you move out. She was testing you to see if this thing with the other woman was real enough that you would risk losing her (your platonic roommate/not-really girlfriend). Turns out, it is serious enough with this other girl.

In full panic mode about your pending departure and the loss of her wallet/emotional tampon, your platonic roommate decides that she needs to do something to make you stay. So, she tries to emotionally manipulate you with sexual contact. Not actual sex, mind you (she doesn't see you as a sexual being, so in her mind having actual sex with you would be gross), but enough sexual contact that she hopes you will stick around. Her behavior is truly disgusting.

Add on to this the fact that she has repeatedly cheated on you.

Let's balance this out: On the one hand, you have a platonic roommate who leeches off you, tries to emotionally manipulate you, and refuses sex with you while having no problem fucking other men. On the other hand, you have a new girl who actually seems to be interested in you romantically and you are also interested in her. So, exactly why would you want to stay with your platonic roommate/leech? This doesn't even seem to be something that a rational person would need to think about because the answer is so glaringly obvious.

/r/relationships Thread