Me [30M] with my girlfriend [25F] of a year, how to handle tension concerning my wife [26F] who I am separated from.

I guess I should clarify a little. Sorry, I was finishing up at work when I made this post, and despite the wall of text, I skimped on details or might have missed the point with some.

I am moving forward. Being with my girlfriend is a huge step forward. After my failed marriage I didn't want to date for the longest time. Having that all fall part, watching someone suffer like that, and being hurt like that, I didn't want to experience it again. I'm fine being alone. I grew up in a small town where all I had was myself. I very much enjoy my solitude. Like I've told me girlfriend, I'm with her because I choose to be. Not because I'm lonely, not because I need someone, but because I care about her. And I do. I see a future with her. A happy one. Because aside from my wife, we have a pretty problem free relationship. I can't even say we've had a fight. The conflict that this has caused probably couldn't even be considered that.

What I'm looking for is some words of advice. How can I help make my girlfriend more comfortable with this situation. She's a fairly sane person, and for a sane person I don't think this situation can ever be normal. But is there anything that I'm missing that I can do to help her? I want to move forward with her and am. We just got our first apartment together. Things are great. But at the same time, I can't leave behind someone I love. Someone who is family. Yes, it's obviously different as I have a romantic history with this person and we are not related by blood. My wife is not a nuisance that I'm trying to get rid of. She's a suffering individual that I help when I can. And let me say, for my girlfriend I have backed away from helping my wife in a huge way. I'm not saying that as in she made me do that. It's just something that would be expected of me when dating someone. I used to spend a lot of my time working with my wife, worrying about her, helping her. My days off were spent visiting her. Trying to help her work out her problems. Assisting her. But more importantly being her friend and family.

As I said, that has greatly been reduced. I haven't talked to her on the phone in months. I've seen her in person once in the past year. I only text her for short periods of time once every week or two just to check in. But I am still going to be there for her. I don't feel I should have to cut myself off from a member of my family in order to have a wonderful life with my girlfriend. It would be easier yes, but life is not always easy. In my experience it rarely is.

I'm just looking for some input on how I can be considerate of my girlfriend and help her with this issue.

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