All of these people who are telling you to break it off are probably right, but please remember to be kind to yourself. You are not alone, and life is complicated.

I am in a similar situation. I've been doing a lot of thinking and some reading recently, and apparently this is pretty common for 30-something men with kids. I'm in my mid thirties with a wonderful wife and 2 amazing kids, both under the age of five. Kids are so rewarding, but they put a lot of pressure on your marriage. My wife and I often worry (and fight) about whether or not one of us is doing a "good enough" job as a parent. Not to mention, the kids leave us with basically zero time and energy for ourselves or each other. That's just the way it is. But I love my life and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Over a year ago, I found myself under intense stress at work, on top of the stress of having two little kids. My wife had her own stuff going on at the time, and home life was really difficult for a while. We fought a lot, and sometimes I even dreaded coming home. During all the work drama, I bonded deeply with a female colleague. She has since become a major part of my life.

Things are much better now at home, but now I have this very complicated friendship with another woman. My wife is cool with it, but I can tell it makes her uncomfortable sometimes. I've often felt guilty or wondered if I was being "fair".

I'd like to say I know I'd never cheat, but if I'm being honest, I think there's always a chance. My work friend and I kissed a couple of times but mutually decided not to take it any farther. We both value our friendship and our respective marriages too much to further jeopardize either. She had a philosophy, which I like very much, that our actions have a kind of permanence that outlasts our own lives.

I have not told my wife about the kiss, and I do feel guilty. I'm not sure if I will tell her - I'm still grappling with that, and I will probably continue to for a long time. It was wrong of me to kiss another woman. Is it also wrong to have feelings for her?

So, I think very few of us are completely innocent, nor do any of us have it easy. Whatever you do, remember to be good to your wife, and keep the promise you made when you got married. Aside from my kids, that promise is the difference between my love for my wife and my love for my friend.