I don't know you or your situation. I don't know if your being over dramatic, or realistic. What I do know is that I've been on the very edge of suicide more times than I can count, so I have some idea of what you're going through. All I can say is this: life is random and unpredictable. You may never have a romantic partner. I don't know, and neither do you. You may or may not accomplish something great. You may or may not influence another person in a life-changing way.
I will tell you what abruptly changed my mind about killing myself. Once I had a boyfriend. He was the only person I ever met that I thought I could spend my life with. He was kind and giving towards me, he was patient, he was incredibly inspiring, he was an artistic genius. We were bonded by our depression and hopelessness. After a long and intense relationship, I had to leave him after he developed a terrible drinking problem and became abusive. I hated leaving him in such distress, but I had no choice.
A few months later, he went through with the inevitable and killed himself. He made it very clear that it wasn't my fault, and he understood that I only wanted to help him. He was worthless scum in his own eyes, and nobody could convince him otherwise.
My heart is broken not only for my personal loss, but for everyone else in the world who will miss out on that worthless scumbag who changed my world forever with his kindness and genius. I'm sad that he'll never write another song or paint another picture that would inspire another artist the way he inspired me. I'm sad for the woman or women who won't fall deeply in love with him the way I got to. His contribution to my life is immeasurable. I'll never love like that again. He never saw it.
My point is that there's a chance that a hopeless piece of garbage like you could change someone forever. Everyone has that power. That's why I've changed my mind. I want to inspire someone the way he inspired me.
I don't know you, your life or death will not effect me in any way. I just thought I'd share, one worthless person to another.