What's bothering me? So much. But at least I can talk about most of it with friends. But my wife has been overweight for a long time, and is now pre-diabetic, which is really putting the brakes on our plans to have kids. I've also been having a hard time being attracted to her because of her weight. I can't really talk to anyone about that. Except my therapist, who is ironically on paternity leave.

What would make me feel better? If I felt I could trust my wife to work as hard as she could to get in shape. But I know how terrible and hopeless she feels and I don't want to put pressure on her.

I've always wanted to have kids. I don't want to think that if I stay with her, I'll never be able to have them. But I'm also not getting any younger, and neither is she. I don't know how long I can afford to wait on her. But all the options that aren't waiting on her to get her shit together are shit options that make me a shit person.

How would I talk someone else through this? I don't know. Probably remind them that their partner has to make their own decisions. You can't control that, but you can control what their decisions mean for you. So what does it mean for me if my wife decides to give up?