I have a somewhat-relevant story that probably doesn't warrant its own post but I want to share it, so here goes:

Freshman year, there was someone who always took a massive, toilet-clogging shit on either Thursday night or Friday morning. When I say massive, I mean almost as big as a football (handegg variety) or the average pineapple (minus the leaves). Every week, without fail, always in the same stall. I had switched dorms between semesters, and was startled and horrified the first few times I ran into the monsterpoo. I found out it was a common occurrence, though nobody knew who the pooper was, and I learned to avoid that stall. I'd also draw a little monsterpoo comic on the RA's dry-erase board so she'd know that it was time to call maintenance again.

One night I went in to brush my teeth and heard grunting coming from the monsterpoo stall. I hid in the shower area of the bathroom and waited for the unsub to come out. A good 10 minutes later, I heard the toilet gurgle feebly and, somewhat anticlimactically, out waddled the largest resident of our floor.

I reported this information to my roommate, who was friends with the monsterpoo maker's roommate. They talked, and my roommate relayed the details back to me.

Apparently, the monsterpoo maker lived mainly on cafeteria pizza, french fries, diet cola, and ice cream. Nary a vegetable passed her lips without it was first fried and/or coated in dressing. Basically the standard atrocious eating habits of the average hamplanet newly released into the world of college cafeterias. Her roommate said that she'd party down and get drunk on the weekends, then look more and more uncomfortable (constipated, apparently) as the week progressed. Then Thursday night/ early Friday morning would roll around and she'd disappear for a while before coming back looking somewhat clammy but immensely relieved.

Moral of the story: eat your fruits and vegetables, kids.