So I specifically spoke with my son about this to see what he really thought. He grew up seeing two very large Italian/Polish families caring for one another. He saw his great grandparents being cared for when older children moved into their homes. He saw me take care of my mother when she developed dementia. I asked him what he thought of this discussion. He said of course he would take care of his parents if they so needed. It wasn’t even a question. He was like, “what am I going to do, leave you homeless?”

For us this is a very natural circle of life. I know your MIL has some good years left and I would set her up best as possible to get through those independently, but unless she is blessed to find a partner who can contribute, what is she supposed to do? Many mothers gave up their earning capability to care for their families.... so she should be punished for that because she doesn’t have a 401k? And if later in life she’s sick and needs care givers you’re just going to say “oh well”.? People have no respect for their elders anymore, not even their parents. This is so sad to me. And as someone who became a caregiver to a parent... there is nothing more bonding and a culmination of love than this. You see them become children and it breaks your heart. But you realize what a privilege it is to care for someone who has always cared for you. My time with my mom was an honor and I thank God for it.