Thanks for the helpful response. He has black and asian friends, and is always super nice/friendly with the indian teller at our local convince store, but he’s also said things such as, “I wouldn’t be with you if you had ever slept with a black guy” which freak me out. It’s like a secret racism that only comes out with close friends or when we are in private.

On one hand, I can almost ignore that he feels that was as long as his actions continue to be good and as long as he treats all people well. My fear is if we were ever to go further and start a family together, I could never live with my children having that kind of perspective. He would have to agree to let me teach them about race, and only share his opinions once they are 18.

All of the comments saying, “just leave him” trust me, I get it! I’ve been a hard liberal my whole life, and if I had read this post a year ago I would have given the same advice. I just don’t feel like making that move quite yet, as it seems he’s been sold by instagram politics and has no idea what’s he’s talking about. I know I can’t change him, but I wonder if it’s possible to expand his view. I never thought I would find myself in this position.