I would assume that its specifically the implication of getting dinner which can be an intimate concept. I've gone on pho, Korean bbq, and taco dinner dates.
My point was you can go for dinner dates anywhere. It’s the company that makes it intimate, not the place. But in case my girlfriend or other people were imagining something a little more romantic, I felt I should clarify by saying it was pho, Korean barbecue and tacos. Whatever’s open around that time. And it’s usually under an hour.
You used the plural "friends" after work but it seems shes only asking you to refrain from having one on one dinners with other females.
I said “friends” to clarify that it wasn’t just one female friend in particular, it’s all of them. All three, who are in serious, committed relationships. One is married, one is engaged, and one just recently moved in with her boyfriend of three years.
How much do you value your girlfriends opinion,boundaries, and say so? Has she made lifestyle changes for you or listened to various boundaries you yourself have set forth? Is she doing/fulfilling 80% of what you need/want and this may be the 20% you need to concede?
I value her, and everything that she has to say, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is a bit unfair. I’ve never asked her to make any changes in her life. To me that’s controlling. She works closely with a guy at work she’s had sex with. I truly trust her and I believe that it won’t happen again whilst we’re together, so I don’t feel the need to insert an opinion that will only make it difficult for her at work. I can’t say the same would be true if I were the one working closely with someone I’d spent the night with. If she thinks of pho as intimate, I can’t imagine what she thinks about actual sex.
If I had a problem with anything or felt uncomfortable by something that she was doing well before she met me, I would either have stopped dating her before we were serious or spoken up about it sooner than a year in so she wouldn’t feel caught off guard when we’ve already established the relationship.
I don’t know. I’ll listen if it makes her happy, but I’m not happy about it at all.