This person's post actually made me think of something from my teen years as well, and I'm replying to you because I want you to see it. This may or may not be what's going on with your daughter.
I never knew my biological father. I knew he didn't want me. My mom told me a lot about his family, what he was like, his interests, etc. My mom remarried when I was little and my dad (the man who married my mom and adopted me) was such a wonderful, doting daddy when I was a sweet little girl. And we've had a great relationship since I grew up, but my teen years were another story. The adolescent years are tumultuous times.
When I was 13 I developed an interest in the things I knew my bio father had been interested in as a way to feel closer to the man I never knew. I felt so different, and I just wanted to believe that those weird thoughts and feelings brought on by adolescent brain changes were because there was this person out there who gave me half my DNA... and if I could just know him, everything would make sense. I started to resent my dad because I saw all these differences in the way he treated me versus the way he treated "his" kids (technically my "half" siblings, though I've always viewed them as full siblings). I felt like he loved them more than me. Thinking back now that I'm an adult, I realize that wasn't the case, but it really felt that way when I was a teenage girl.
My dad had an issue with me at the time because I'm the oldest and I was the first teenager he'd dealt with. I didn't realize that until I was in my early 20s. Teenagers don't really realize how confusing and difficult they are to their parents. Even if a 14 year old thinks they're brilliant and adults are boring idiots, it doesn't change the fact that deep down, they think adults don't have to learn things anymore and that they just automatically know how to deal with things. It sounds like your husband is having a hard time handling teenage Julie. Maybe in Julie's mind, Tom's exasperation isn't because he doesn't know how to handle her... it's because he doesn't like her. These years are all about pushing boundaries and finding her own identity. When Tom says something mean, to her it's like he's rejecting her as a person. She probably views her personality as static right now... she doesn't think she's changing, she thinks she's already changed. This is "who she is now", and "it's not a phase mom OMG!" It might seem like your daughter idealizes her father (and I'm sure she does to an extent). But this phase will pass and she'll realize who was really there for her.
In the meantime, Tom needs to understand that he shouldn't take this personally. Julie might be feeling like she isn't really a full part of the family. I have NEVER told my parents I felt that way. I hope Tom can be sensitive to that possibility and try to show his love, respect, and acceptance for who she is. And both of you, keep trying to break through all the eye-rolling and sass and have real conversations with your daughter. Talk to her like the adult you want her to become. Even if it's just a brief thing to get on her level. Acknowledge her feelings, even if they aren't rational. It will probably take a few years, but she'll come around.