3. My bf (34M) wrote a note (which I found) comparing me (32F) to his ex. Referring...

My bf (34M) wrote a note (which I found) comparing me (32F) to his ex. Referring to me as safe and healthy, and her as exciting and passionate. I feel hurt.

I don’t know what the BF meant when he said that but I’d say similar about my current relationship. Saying ‘I don’t have to try as hard to please him’ means to me that means I don’t have to walk on eggshells around my current BF or keep myself and the house 100% because if ex-BF wasn’t pleased chaos would ensure.

That doesn’t mean I don’t try and please my current BF. I love him and work hard at being a healthy partner in a healthy relationship but now instead of cleaning the entire house daily I can do the dishes (his least favorite chore) or let him pick tonight show and he’ll appreciate it. I still do major things for him (treated him to a weekend trip in Dec) but I no longer run myself ragged trying to please someone I could never please.

But that’s my experience. OP should talk to her boyfriend about everything but I hope can provide an additional view.

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