What’s something that happened to you when you were younger that you thought was ok at the time but now realize it isn’t?

My dad used to hit me when he got really angry when I was younger. He never left a mark, but regardless it was often unpredictable and would happen anywhere. It happened when I was being punished or as simple as if I was just laughing too loud at dinner and he wasn’t in a good mood. I eventually became highly perfectionistic because I couldn’t predict the behavior, so naturally I felt if I was perfect than I wouldn’t get hit or punished. At some point I started hitting myself as hard as I could (at as young as 7 or 8) as punishment when I felt I messed up. I would slap myself accross the face, pinch myself until I bruised, or even just pulled my hair really hard. It went on for years and I never told a sole because I didn’t know it was wrong or was a type of self-harm. I now look back and feel so sorry for that little girl who hurt herself because she missed the goal, got a B on a test, or didn’t put my clothes/toys away. It took me years of therapy to eventually really start to curb my perfectionism and stop torturing myself mentally or hurting myself physically.

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