My dad used to hit me when he got really angry when I was younger. He never left a mark, but regardless it was often unpredictable and would happen anywhere. It happened when I was being punished or as simple as if I was just laughing too loud at dinner and he wasn’t in a good mood. I eventually became highly perfectionistic because I couldn’t predict the behavior, so naturally I felt if I was perfect than I wouldn’t get hit or punished. At some point I started hitting myself as hard as I could (at as young as 7 or 8) as punishment when I felt I messed up. I would slap myself accross the face, pinch myself until I bruised, or even just pulled my hair really hard. It went on for years and I never told a sole because I didn’t know it was wrong or was a type of self-harm. I now look back and feel so sorry for that little girl who hurt herself because she missed the goal, got a B on a test, or didn’t put my clothes/toys away. It took me years of therapy to eventually really start to curb my perfectionism and stop torturing myself mentally or hurting myself physically.