My coach slept with my wife, and then tried to have me arrested when I found out.
Sorry guys but after seeing what's been happening i really need to call this sick fuck out because it still feels like he got away with it:
I started training jiu-jitsu with my wife after years of being married. We came from a Krav self defense class as part of a cross training program. Guy opened up during the middle of covid but kept things under wraps.
His name is Tony Caito and he is currently a black belt under Caio Terra.
Me and my wife got to know him very well, my wife and I were power lifters so you can imagine what kind of physic she had.
Anyway, this guy was going on about the beauty of the sport, his mission from God to "help the children" and messages from the Lord, he was going on about his battle with cancer and how he survived so he could write his "last chapter" etc.
Honestly, I believed in him. My wife and I basically fell in love with this guy.
But after months training with this guy, things started getting weird.
He'd put me down or make fun of me in the middle of my own rolls, but would hype up my wife and give her extra attention and coaching. He started giving her privates while I was at work, and I didn't think anything of it because this guy claimed to be a "servant to the beauty of the sport" etc. I thought it was cool at the time, but obviously I know better now (hindsight)
Then they started going on trips together to the bay area. Without me. He had his kids with him (did I mention he's got like 7 kids, from different moms?)
Anyway, one day my wife and I are having an argument: suddenly, her and I are arguing all the time over text, and its getting nasty. She starts saying how "she can't do this anymore" and that "she needs space and time" and "we need to take a break."
I'm like "this is crazy! Where is this coming from?"
I go to her mom's house to talk things through.
She's not there.
So I look up her location on her apple iPhone.
She's at our coach's house.
I didn't want to assume yet, but my heart stopped.
I go over there, her car is parked in front of his house.
I go to the door and knock.
Our coach comes to the door at 2am without a shirt, wide awake.
"excuse me, sir, is my wife in there?"
He says "what are you doing here at 2 in the morning? No, she's not."
"Sir, her car is outside and her phone location says she's here"
"Oh, well, she doesn't want to see you because she doesn't feel safe around you. You need to leave and figure this out another time."
"Alright sir, sorry to bother you."
I shit you not, I actually called him sir throughout the whole thing like a weak low T male.
I was shell shocked. I still didn't want to believe what was happening. I kept thinking back on what I did wrong to make this happen.
I did the only thing I felt I could do: I told the purple belt instructor that was under him at the time all about it.
The purple belt marched up right to him the next day while secretly recording in the parking lot and had a big blow up argument, confronting him about the BS. About the lies, about how he saw them doing questionable shit like staying after with my wife when it was closing time and sending him along.
A black belt and 2 purple belts ended up cutting ties with Tony over this whole thing. To this day, I'm still surprised that the purple belt has the guts to stand up to Tony like he did, seeing all these other black belts cover for their own really puts things into perspective and how things could've gone.
Anyway, I obviously left with the purple belt and the others who started their own gym. The rest of the gym is instructors and owners of the property circled the wagons and denied everything.
Its been about 9 months now and she's living at his house now, but still uses my insurance for her medical bills. I filed for divorce not too long ago but she keeps dodging my attorney. She even tried getting a restraining order against me, although the judge denied her request. But that didn't stop Tony from coaching her to call the police and try and have me arrested. Luckily nothing came of it.
Anyway I just wanted to vent, I thought I just got unlucky, but it turns out even Caio Terra isn't immune from this sexual predation bullshit. What makes it even worse is how my ex coach used bjj as a cloak to hide his sick behavior: my Krav classmate later told me that he didn't realize who I was training with at the time (he was taking a break from the gym) but that he knew Tony and Tony slept with his fiancee at the time when she was 18 and Tony was 37. Tony also apparently tried to get a 17 year old student to come live with him after he talked to her parents about her possibly talking to someone at the gym. So basically, she was scared to go home and he forced her into a situation where she called him up for help and his first thing was to try and get her to spend the night at his house. He's 47. Like wtf. Who does that?
Anyway, sorry guys, just wanted to get this out there. Its called SenseiStudios in Modesto California.
https://instagram.com/tonycaito?utm_medium=copy_link