When I was drinking, I had the same pattern of hiding to keep up appearances. It was exhausting and anxiety inducing because there was always the chance of being found out. I’m nearly ten months in and looking back realize how not okay it is. What would have helped me is if someone confronted me from a place of compassion and acceptance. There is a great deal of shame in this behavior.

My partner eventually confronted me when I had to much one time and she noticed I was off. She stills doesn’t how how bad the extent was even though I’ve told her. Having her bring up that no, It’s not unnoticeable helped me start to examine my drinking. I hope the best for your situation and family. Take care.