Well, I am the OP's partner. Obviously she took someone's advice and did show me this thread. The thing that gets me is this has been blown way out of proportion. I've been lurking this sub for a long time, along with bluelight, erowid, dmt nexus.... You get the picture. So it's a little weird to find my girlfriend airing out my dirty laundry in public. Anyway, I'll put this simply. I'm sure many of you can relate. Drugs do fascinate me, and yes I use a variety of drugs, much like many people here. The phase when I was "really really really into weed" was the honeymoon phase, starting just before we met and which continued for a few years. I never smoked before work or had anything detrimental occur as a result of that other than my girlfriend's negative views on it. So, I agreed I would not get high quite so much. Over the last few years my usage has basically gone down to the point where I only do it after a certain time of night well after any of my daily responsibilities are taken care of. These days ideally I just like to have a bowl or two and stay up and watch Colbert. That's honestly the extent of my "regular" drug use. Sounds pretty casual/manageable does it not? Anyway, as for everything else she mentioned, yes I've had a couple of incidents on xanax and I do feel I've learned from them and they no longer have the recreational pull they once had. I keep them around as a tool to come down off acid mainly. I reagent test my drugs and get them from reliable sources, I weigh my doses accurately; basically I pride myself on being a RESPONSIBLE drug user. I had a terrible panic attack on 25i back in 2012 which prompted me to throw out that whole series. I like to think I learn from my mistakes. What a shock to see my SO had made a thread about me on the very subreddit I frequent. Anyway, I like to explore my consciousness. I am very into music and that, along with drugs help me explore my consciousness. I know compromise is so important in relationships and we've had many fights over the years over this issue. I basically just want to be in charge of my own body, and It's not nice when somebody undermines my own ability to use responsibly. I have a strict 3 month rule with MDMA/MDA, I also never go over 200mg and I don't redose. I enjoy LSD/2CB every few months or so. I've never injected anything in my life and I don't plan to. My comments about heroin/meth "not being that bad" are purely just me trying to express that I don't think any drug is inherently bad. It's all about how you use it and having a bit of self control. I have no desire to try either of those drugs, an If I did then I easily could have by now. My stint in dealing weed was so small time it's laughable, basically splitting an ounce between friends of friends, and that enabled me to save enough bond for me to move into a new place, after which I stopped. My girlfriend and I have come to an agreement that I can smoke weed twice a week max. Now while at times that has and will continue to be a bit annoying I am overall happy with that compromise. She is a reasonable person and I love her very very much. I just feel that my interest in drugs and semi regular usage of weed has conflated this issue in her mind to make it seem worse than what it actually is.... I've tried oxycodone and codeine out of curiousity, and I had a good time but I feel no pull to acquire them again, those things are just something to tick off the list. In conclusion, I have had a couple of incidents (benzo blackouts/25I freakout) but these are very rare and I definitely don't intend on repeating them. My girlfriend even tried to get me to do MDMA with her a couple of months ago and I said no because I'd done it only a month prior. I think her post made me sound a lot worse than what I actually am. Some of you will no doubt call this denial, but this is honestly how I feel. To put this in perspective further, I've had a gram of Ketamine in my possesion for about 3 years. In that time i've used about half of it. My ideal lifestyle is a tiny bit of weed before I watch Colbert, some MDMA at a club if an awesome DJ is playing, and an acid trip every few months with my buddies. There are definitely ways I could improve and cut down further, but weed, MDMA and LSD are my drugs of choice, and I'm quite happy as long as I'm allowed to use them sparingly at appropriate times. I think perhaps I do fixate on the IDEA of drugs a bit more than I should, but I do have self control. Before our recent agreement to cut the weed down to 2 days a week max, 7 grams would last me 2 months. Now 7 grams (1/4) will last me much longer. But either way, that to me doesn't sound like i'm out of control. To people suggesting datura, there's no way in hell i'd do that. Ibogaine is interesting, but as you can probably tell, I don't really need it for the reasons suggested. The only thing i'm actually well and truly addicted to is nicotine, and guess what, 4 weeks and 2 days cigarette free today thanks to e-cigs. It just hurts when somebody accuses you of being a drug addict when I pride myself on responsible use. To my beautiful girlfriend, sorry if you don't like that I've posted this, but if you're getting advice from random people on reddit then I think I need to add some information to offer some more perspective. Sorry if this ends up as a wall of text. I'm on my phone and don't really post much anywhere, so forgive me if the formatting is a bit off.