My MIL texted us last night to ask us to come to celebrate Xmas at their house on both Friday AND Sunday evenings.
Originally, she declared she wanted Friday. Because "we never get first dibs on any of the holidays and it might be nice to celebrate Xmas on the actual day!" My husband and I said, "Perfect, case closed, we, and your only grand-daughters (a 3 year old and a 10 month old) are all yours on Xmas evening for dinner." Everyone was happy.
Except, apparently, everyone was not. Because my MIL has ONE normal child out of four and I married him. The other three, my SILs, are all in the mid-30s and can't get their shit together. One has a child- they live WITH my MIL, inconveniencing them precisely 0% to have Xmas on whatever day we have it. The other two have no children, one isn't working so has no work schedule, and both have boyfriends who are anti-social/pretend to be sick the rest of the year when we have any kind of family dinner. Usually, when a boyfriend pretends to be sick, we don't see the SIL, either, because #subservientgfsyndrome.
This year, both boyfriends decided they didn't want to celebrate with my in-laws on the evening of the 25th. But one SIL decided she was going to forge ahead with cooking her Xmas dinner at my MILs house on that date. And my MIL, understand that she has three daughters who will never, ever, ever celebrate the holiday without having major drama, is asking US, the normal couple with the babies who are on a strict sleep schedule, to come on both nights when my SILs have stated THEY will be at the house to attend Xmas.
I told my husband he has to answer the text because I'm too mad. First of all, we gave my MIL prime real estate a month ago when she said she wanted the 25th. Second of all, when I asked her, a week ago, whether the plan is still a go, she texted back that she's having trouble coordinating the rest of her dysfunctional 30something year-old children to my schedule. SCUSE me?!
Third of all, my own mother is moving back to town and will be thrown into the mix next year, and while my mother is not ridiculous enough to ask us to celebrate on TWO days, I know if she even dared to ask, my husband would laugh in her face. Yet he is defending his ridiculous family right now with "this is just how we do things... we aren't on a 'rigid routine' like your family..." SCUSE me?! The text his MIL sent last night was, "your favorite sister is preparing a special dinner on Friday, but we're holding your daughters' presents hostage until Sunday, so please make sure to haul your children out during their bedtime two separate evenings!
Need I mention that my husband and I are the only ones going to work on Monday morning? The only ones who actually do need to have a normal Sunday evening after a four-day stretch of hauling our children around town?
I'm seething. We will end up going to both evenings at my in-laws' house because we don't have any plans tomorrow evening and we won't be allowed to just take it easy at home without being thrown a major guilt trip to deal with on Sunday, when the rest of the underachieving-yet-overly-dramatic family shows up to glower at each other and pretend to enjoy Christmas.
Some day, just some day, I will get through a holiday season feeling like I've been allowed to do exactly what I want while being respected as a grown adult and mother, myself.