I want to give him the benefit of the doubt...but something is just not sitting right with me.

When I read he quit porn after this I thought, "good, he's making the right choices without having to be told". But 27 and first real relationship (did he have other GFs before this? Were they his age or younger?). Fights with you about him hurting your feelings for saying something so disgusting, and it takes his (male?) friends to make him understand that he fucked up? I mean, I get getting advice and having your more decent friends telling you that you're in the wrong and need to apologize asap, but this seems like basic etiquette on a human level. Like, you have to miss your first week of kindergarten to fuck up this much at being decent.