I'm like this too. I don't have the same backstory, but I'm a very logical person. I find I get irritated very easily by other people when they do something that doesn't make sense to me. It has cost me a few relationships because after the honeymoon phase I do become a bit different and I let the little things get to me. I'm 27 now and I'm trying to make a conscious effort to change, but it's hard when in the heat of the moment you can't turn it off.

It will probably be against every instinct in your being to try to bite your lip when something is about to set you off. And even in just remaining silent, she will probably be able to tell something is wrong.

Therapy is always an option. I've never tried it myself, but a good therapist can do wonders for the psyche. If you're not into that idea then I mean it all starts with you. Everyday will be a struggle, but you've got to want to make the change bad enough to where you will put in the effort day in and day out. Eventually your thought process will change bit by bit, but I'm telling you it is not an easy feat.

Finally, I wouldn't say you're a bad person or even broken. People are just a certain way sometimes. I mean so long as you don't derive pleasure from these arguments or from putting someone down. I would say it's more of a character flaw. The fact you care enough to try to seek help means you're already trying.