You sound like you’re doing a great job so far! Do the kids go to school? Maybe once they do, you can send them to after school care (thats what it’s called in Australia) for the weekdays and maybe hook them up with a weekend activity on a Saturday (sport etc) with the uncle that is trying to do better. That way you can free up some self care time for yourself, let the uncle back in but not too much (so to not undo their routine and what you’ve taught them) and also give them a highly routine environment. Children crave and flourish in routine and it will make your life easier. They will also become more like you and well behaved if you keep at it, that’s a fact.

Before you do this though, you need to make a decision whether or not to keep them. Maybe you feel extra stressed because them staying with you is a ‘half way’ solution. Once you decide, you can commit, plan a routine (if you keep them) and then go for it.

It’s a huge and expensive decision, but once everything has a bit more structure you’ll be happier. You also seem to like the kids, not their old habits but you can see the light in them. That’s really good. Need to sit down with your partner and discuss it. Good luck.