Thank you for sharing.

It sounds like you and your wife have a relationship that transcends the church (and most couples in healthy relationships do). Don't let the things that aren't important and are fake (i.e., the church's false truth-claims) let you ruin the things that are important and are real (like your relationship with your wife and children). As I went through this I decided to let my wife know that I would make her and our children the priority and that I wanted to be unified in how we worshiped and raised our children (I have a ton of kids of all ages) without being untrue to myself. That's a fine line to walk, but it has worked remarkably well for us. Just this week my wife told me in passing that she would be okay with me resigning. I'm not ready to do that yet (still pondering the merits of getting excommunicated for preaching the truth or just staying a closet exmo until the whole family is ready to leave if/when that ever happens).

Lately, I've been enjoying "the Triple Path" immensely, and I wonder if you wouldn't also appreciate it. It is a synthesis of scientific and religious ideals (but doesn't tolerate any religious falsehoods). It's not new-age-ish or anything, just very thoughtful. He's another fellow who went through the same kind of thing and also gives good reasons for trying to keep a marriage intact.

It's clear that alcohol is a part of the exmormon process of self-discovery for many leaving the church. I fully respect that decision (if done responsibly). However, for myself, I just figure that I've been this long and fine, so why start now? My BIL, an uncle, and grandmother-in-law all died as alcoholics. I consider this a distinct benefit of having walked the path I did (no desire to experiment with those things). There is a sizable minority on exmormon who feel the same as me.