Ok. I'm a woman. I just got out of an abusive relationship that was exactly like yours. We can almost share notes.

I second everyone who says to read why does he do that? I almost beg you to read it and then, you can take a call.

That book does not penalise or accuse or criminalise abusers or bad behaviour. It just... puts it out there. I've read books like psychopath free and other books in this genre when I was trying to understand my abusive partner, I believed in my heart, that he was a good guy but his behaviour was ...beyond horrible. And what he did to me and said about me, even more so.

Had this been anyone else I would have hated them but I could not hate him and the entire world was telling me that I was trauma bonded. None of these stupid psychology terms made sense because we all have a gut instinct.

And my instinct told me, he was a good guy and needs to be understood.

Now, I'm not doing this out of charity. I truly felt I understood him. I found reasons to justify his bad behaviour.

This anger towards people in public was common. Over time towards me too.

This is my personal view, I do think at times we all lose our shit and do stupid things. In todays Internet age, we are quick to label people crazy and dump them forever. Not advocating that you should tolerate or stay, just saying we are quick to label people and then cancel them basis the label.

But psychology is rarely so easy to label.

In my view I think people do grow and change, but will they do it for us or without sabotaging us? That's a question.

I stuck with my partner as long as I did because I thought it will get better. (Brb) will edit .