I need a bit of help [20M]

Anyone have any suggestions on how I can overcome the fear just this once? I'm not sure what I'm asking for, I guess I just need a bit of a confidence boost or whatever.

Are you content - with the thought that if you don't make the effort now, one day you'll have to see her in the arms of another guy who did have the confidence to do what he wanted? Or if she's a friend - that you may never see her again?

You say weird shit happened, so maybe you can't get things back to where you want them. But then maybe you can, and that’s a chance worth taking right?

or pointers to what I can say

Depends on the weird shit, and how bad it was.

But you know, I've spent enough time around women; scrap that, people in general to know, if there’s one thing you have to do after something like that, is play all the cards in one hand.

You may never get the moment again, so you've got to lay it all out. You have to let that person know you're sincere - and just how much they mean to you. Tell her exactly what she means to you, and then tell her, in fact show her with your emotion - how much it has hurt being apart from her, then ( if you are in the wrong) tell her you are sorry, and then - don't pressure her, but reiterate exactly what is is she means to you, and don't beg (well thats an IMHO thing) but just say something along the lines of..

(for an apologetic theme)

" I realise what happened was fucked up, and if I could change it, I would. I've not thought about much else since - because I love you. I do realise things may never be the same, but I couldn’t live with at least trying to fix things, and if you’ll give me another chance - I'll never have sex with your grandma's dog again"

(Another more generic version to just get her to talk to you)

" Hey! Listen, I've been wanting to talk to you for so long now since we broke up/split/got split up, and I’ve been toying with what to say, but in the end, I've decided I'm just going to be honest - I love you/like you, and I feel so bad about what happened ( or maybe you don't) and I miss you so much"

For extra heart melting factor add in a few sprinkles of " I've felt empty since we've split" or something along those lines.

Ultimately though in my experience, as long as what you say is from the heart (i.e don't copy my terrible examples above) - that's all you can do, you cant make people do what you want, all you can do is let them know what they mean to you, so if she's a friend, let her know she's your greatest, if she's your love, let her know she's the only one, and if they feel the same way, it'll work out.

He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life ~Muhammad Ali

/r/socialanxiety Thread