(disclaimer: I have had a bit to drink and am probably rambly.)

I was an INFP female who wanted to "need" somebody else in the way you describe when I was younger, and I found a relationship that perfectly fit that feeling with an INFJ. Basically... it's not healthy. We got into this weird self-indulgent vibe where we thought that we had the strongest, best, most loving relationship ever to exist, while in reality things were crumbling and we were lying to ourselves. Out of the seven years we were together, the last three were probably held together only by our mutual delusion. The breakup was excruciating and in some ways I am still not completely over it, four years later.

I know what you mean when you say that you want someone to love you the way that you love. I had the same feeling. But experience has taught me that good relationships are built by people who are whole on their own, and then find someone they want to be with and whose presence enriches their lives, rather than finding someone they need to be with to fill their most basic emotional gaps.

I wish that I had good advice for how to approach things, but I guess I don't. I don't know how to get from your idealistic perspective to my more practical one without a lot of pain in between. But I can say that when you get to a place where you just really want to be with someone but don't need them, the love you build feels so much greater. It's absolutely wonderful to know that your relationship is built on making each other feel amazing and not just being the crutch to get your partner through the day and vice versa. I guess you just need to work on becoming your best self and seeing how things flow naturally from there.