Not to point out the obvious but a previous post of yours says you’re 270 lbs. Idk what that looks like on a woman your height because you’re also tall, but I imagine that’s your biggest (and perhaps only) barrier to finding success while dating. I’m cool chatting about diets and exercises you might be able to do to help that aspect of your dating life.

Aside from that...

1) The dude who wouldn’t let you touch his dick was kind of in the same boat as you are right now. He was so ashamed of his situation he let it hold him back from something that might’ve made him happy. You’re doing the same with your situation. He overcame his lack of confidence and you absolutely can as well. You need to be confident in who you are with all your flaws. That dude might have a micro penis and he’s living his best life now. What are you doing regularly that builds confidence in yourself? You need to have things in your life like that.

2) That guy you’ve been talking to on FT talking to other women probably sounds like a shitty move but I think he’s just trying to be respectful and honest with you. Yall are on this talking phase for so long he’s telling you that you’re not exclusive. He may be a jerk, but nothing you’ve said about him here sounds like a jerk IMO. If you want to meet, stop asking when and start saying “I’m free ____, do you got anything planned for that weekend?”