You sound like you would benefit from therapy. I used to feel like this often and still do sometimes. When this feeling becomes particularly strong in my mind from time to time I use an activity called a “positive data log” to help me notice positive things that are happening around me (to out way the negative).

The positive data log is just a daily list of all the positive things that have happened that day. I usually sit down in the evening and write down which friends / family members I talked to through messages, who I’ve spent time with in person, things I’m proud of that I’ve done that day (getting housework done, ticking off jobs), did I get to eat something nice, did I go a pretty walk etc. And as I’m writing I suddenly realise lots of things that are positive have happened. After a few days I feel my mood has been lifted as it takes less effort to be aware of good things that happen around me.