Please understand....you need to be comfortable with yourself. Women will love and lose you throughout your life. And that is all ok. My wife is amazing, loving, and hot. I could not possibly ever desire anyone else. Find that someone for you. ...but never feel bad about your mistakes or the mis-steps you may have. We've all had them....it ok!>I know this is an extremely personal question and I feel absolutely mortified about posting this online for a bunch of strangers to see, but I desperately, desperately need advice on this. I have no one else I can talk to and this subreddit is one of the most compassionate, kind-hearted ones I've seen. So, if you can, please help a girl out.
For starters, both me and my GF are 20. She is a virgin, I am not. That being said, all my sexual encounters thus far have been through "experimenting" with my straight friends back when I was much younger, back during the times when I didn't realize what most genitalia looked like. The exception being when I was older and had a one-night stand with a guy and I was terrified.
Why was I terrified? Well, it wasn't because of the guy or the fact I was going to have sex or even the mechanics of it. I was terrified because I have extremely large inner labia. They are absolutely ginormous, and I wish I was exaggerating here but I'm not. They're terribly big. When I went to the doctor's a few years back and the nurse had to look "down there", she gasped, her eyes widened, and she did absolutely nothing to try and mask the shocked/disgusted expression on her face. I would be a candidate for labiaplasty in a heartbeat, and I would get it today if only I had the money.
Anyways, these enormous sized lady bits have caused me crippling intimacy issues all my life. They're the reason why I shied away from ever having a relationship, the reason why I pushed a lot of people away if they revealed they had feelings for me. I'm humiliated by them, I'm so afraid of having sex because of them.
My GF is a virgin and has luckily for me been very prude throughout our entire relationship. It's been 9 months now (of only doing nothing but making out) and she finally revealed she wants to have sex, that she's been ready for a while but was too nervous to say anything. I really want to, AL, I do. She's gorgeous and a great catch and she's the first person I've really, truly let in. If I have sex with her she'll also be the first person I've ever been with that wasn't just with a "straight girl" or a one-night stand. She'd be as my girlfriend, and I'm terrified of that vulnerability, especially with the added issue of my ginormous bits.
My GF, bless her heart, is extremely blunt. I'm afraid she's going to make a comment on them, or be grossed out by them, or not want to have sex ever again. It's obvious she already has built up unrealistic expectations of what our first time will be (she's thinking more along the lines of fireworks like the movies.. whereas I'm thinking more trainwreck), so this will just be an added disappointment to her. When I said I wanted to be clothed the first time, she was visibly disappointed, because one of the biggest things she keeps saying is how she wants to "see all of me." She always goes on about how "perfect" I am because I am what most people would consider conventionally attractive but after her seeing my lady bits that perfect image is going to shatter for her and I'm afraid I'm going to appear ugly in her eyes afterwards.
AL, what do I do? I really care for this girl and I've wanted to be with her since the moment I met her, but I'm terrified of how she's going to react. She's the most stunning girl I've ever met and I'm so afraid she's going to be disgusted and not look at me the same. We're long distance, and we'll most likely be seeing each other in ~3-4 weeks, so should I bring this up with her beforehand? If so, what should I say? I don't want this to scare her off from never wanting to but I also don't want her to take off my pants and be visibly terrified because she had no warning beforehand.
I apologize for how personal this is, but like I said I had nowhere else to turn and I'm genuinely lost. Thank you for listening to my awkward rambling about my labia, and I hope someone can help me out.