The thing is questions like this will often get lead to us identifying with the woman being cheated on, and being disgusted. I know men who cheat, and I know their wives and family, and from a distance I don't care because it's not happening to me and I don't go what lead to this. Our company's lawyer occasionally does this when traveling for a conference, he has four male kids and a loving feminine wife, I honestly think it's just physical to him an she doesn't seem to notice. Then, a honey went looking for him (got emotionally attached) and he was so scared that he could lose his family over something stupid like this. I think it's best for her to not know, because it could destroy their family. If she does know, she hides it well because they have a lovely relationship from what I have witnessed.

But I don't really feel bad about this because it's not me in that place. I think for me it would be a dealbreaker if I were to find out, trust is very difficult to heal especially if you are trying to do everything right. It is easy to forgive this when you know you are struggling and this is a symptom of the problem. The other day my mom and I were talking about this, and we came to the conclusion that it is forgivable as long as he doesn't have a family with her. That doesn't mean it's a pleasant thing though.

We have a friend who in turn is the plate on the side, and we tell her that she is only helping him stay in his marriage, because he comes to her to blow off some steam and then goes back to his wife with a renewed energy.

So I have a divided opinion of this. I would do anything possible to avoid the situation happening to me, and I would be extremely hurt if this happened. But I also know it's not the end of the world and this happens everywhere. The main question for a man who wants to cheat would be, is it worth what I am risking for this? Especially if you have a family and you could lose it depending on your wife's reaction.