Reminds me of a time I got accused of stealing someone's credit card while I was waiting tables.

We had swipe in cards that we kept in out front shirt pocket that would let us get into the POS in order to punch in food orders/print checks/run credit cards etc. I was doing my sidework on a slow shift and a pair of women were my only table. I'm jumping between rolling silverware and taking care of them. Decide to drop off the check after I had checked on them again and they immediately hand me their credit card to pay out. So I take their card, my checkbook and my swipe card up to the register, run their check and accidentally make the mistake of putting their credit card in my front pocket and my swipe card back into the check book. I then dropped off their checkbook without realizing what I had done and wished them a good day. So I'm in the back kitchen folding silverware when my manager comes up and tells me the women just called the police on me because I stole her credit card.

I give him a WTF face and start searching my front pocket and realize what I had done, apologize and tell him it was on accident. He knew that I had just mixed up and kind of laughed and we both walked back to the table so I could apologize. As I'm explaining what happened one of the women cuts me off and tells me "i know you stole my information and I check my account regularly. If so much as a dime is missing she'll have me prosecuted. "

Now, I had been doing this waiting tables thing for 10 years and had met so many people that thought they could talk down to me that I wasn't having any of her shit.

I said ma'am, if you think I would ever steal the numbers for your shitty Discover card, you're out of your goddamn mind. I wait tables and apparently have better credit than you, so watch who you throw criminal accusations at.

Shut her the fuck up. Got reprimanded by corporate but was very close to leaving anyways so I didn't give a fuck.