What tools did you find that worked for you?

I have been struggling with BED all my adult life (all the women in my family have fucked up relationships with food so I was basically raised with it) and I really don't feel like I will ever have a handle on it. I've tried to address it dozens of times with various different professionals I saw for other mental health issues (counsellors, GPs, psychiatrists, mental health nurses, an autism specialist) and I've never got anywhere. One counsellor told me to join WeightWatchers, another said "yeah, a lot of autistic people have issues with food" and then changed the subject, a GP told me there was no help available as I didn't have anorexia or bulimia and they're the only EDs they could treat, and even with those who did genuinely want to help I found it too hard to discuss openly because of the amount of shame and self-loathing it brings up.

My wife and I joined a gym together recently and she's been teaching me how to lift weights. I'm enjoying it and I know it's good for me but I also know it's not going to help me to lose any weight because I continue to overeat so much during binges that happen several times a week. I also feel terrible because my fucked up eating habits are affecting my wife too - when I buy packets of biscuits or chocolate bars, she will share them with me and then I feel awful because she has a family history of type 2 diabetes so the excessive sugar is really bad for her. Now I try to save the worst of my binges for days when she has to go to the office so that at least I'm only harming myself.