There is a hard dichotomy that we face as a community here, and this post shows how this is the case.

I spent the last 32 years knowing I was a special snowflake, poked and prodded by doctors, and knowing I was unique. I craved the chance to just be a girl, have my girlfriends, go shopping, etc... basically live life. It did not help that I was also in a situation where I am in the public eye. My transition has made over 100 new agencies and stories across the country... I am a special snowflake to some.

In the end in everyday life I am just a girl. I might be popular, have friends, etc, but in the end I am treated like everyone else, with something special about me. Not everything in the world is about me being a girl, but I am still in the high of "always wanted to trying this and that because I can." I know that will fade in time, and a new normal will set in. I spent every moment distracted by the fact that I was transgender*, and read all the forums, blog, posts, etc. Now that I am full time I find it hard to relate at the same level, and I pull away from those habits of old.

Everyone gets to that point (well those who blend well, I fell terrible for those who do not, but they can get to this point also) someday. We are not a walking billboard that says "I am a girl/boy, deal with it." We need to remember one thing... we will always be a support network for someone.

People will always know I once lived as a guy*. I will always be the teacher that changed their gender, but that does not mean I can not be myself. The shock of finally being called maam, she, her, etc is now past me, and I live, but I will never forget my past.

You can forget about gender and not forget your past... experiences are valuable. In every aspect of life you can share what it is like to live both sides. We have a unique perspective... share it!

*I am not technically trans, but lived in a gender role that was thrust on my because people did not understand that I was always female. Even through I do not 100% fit in the transgender umbrella, I fit the narrative... I might not be a true transexual, but I feel my insights are valuable.