An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God. He said, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"

Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."

He got down to the last couple of minutes and a Marine just returned from the Gulf and released from active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from his platform. The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine replied, "God was busy watching over my buddies engaged in combat."

"Why can't God do it himself since he's omnipresent and omniscient, and you can just sit by and watch in smug satisfaction?" said the professor.

Enthralled in their fruitless philosophical debate, the two didn't notice the enormous kodiak bear which was rapidly approaching, its eyes gleaming with ravenous hunger. As the bear overtook and began tearing into the marine, a panicked student left the lecture hall to call the campus police.

"We need animal control in the Poli Sci building, there's a ravenous bear on the loose and he's killing one of the students!" the student shouted into his cell phone.

"Sorry, the university can't afford the insurance package with bear attack coverage," answered the dispatcher. "You guys are on your own."

"Wait, there's a specific clause about bear insurance?"

"Yeah. We had to abandon the campus fence project after the state cut our funding, and now the bears sometimes wander onto the campus from the woods off to the east. We were getting reamed on the bear attacks, so the company had to exclude them from our health insurance plans."

"So they're charging more to protect us from a known and preventable safety risk, knowing full well that we have no way of protecting ourselves? I'm already up to my loving ears in debt trying to pay room and board! What the fuck, man?!"

The dispatcher smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." Three students were killed and five more were severely injured before the bear lost interest. Luckily the rest of the campus had been locked down by that point.

That bear was Albert Einstein.