I went through something similar minus the abuse and we didn’t live together but I always made it a priority to check on him. After enduring a year of binges, it took me to my lowest and all the love/support I gave him never sobered him up. It got to a point where I lost compassion and empathy and hated him... and that made me incredibly sad because sober him was a really great man but I realized I can’t only have a partner who’s available 25% of the time. I gave him an ultimatum and he broke up with me... we’ve been lingering in contact and he seems more sober now then when we were together but this subreddit reminds me it’s a lifelong disease to manage and I couldn’t see myself in the same cycle down the line. I know life in general isn’t a guarantee or predictable but can I wait forever for long term sobriety that may never come? Can I bring children into this? I want normal life challenges- I just don’t want to wait for a relapse waiting around the corner. It’s been 3-4 months since we broke up and I feel freer than ever.