At the risk of bringing up trauma, FWIW, you leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. Financial ruin aside (which you had every part in too) I was able to get therapy, treatment for bipolar, and create a healthy and productive life for myself.

I learned how to be respectful, healthy, caring and am in no way abusive toward my wife. She's a Dr and an ex marine, so if I were to be abusive in any way she'd flat out kick my ass.

I'm happy you're happy and that you look toward leaving me as one of your better choices. I agree completely. We had a life full of chaos and destruction, and rebuilding was hard. I know that firsthand, I lost every friend I had and walked a path of desolate loneliness. You might think I deserved that, but no-one deserves to be abandoned by everyone they know, especially when mentally ill and in need of serious help. That is abuse too, although you may comfort yourself in painting me as the aggressor and saying I was deserving of being ostracized.

Ketamine therapy has eliminated my triggers that led to a lot of my actions, and cured the PTSD from my abusive childhood. I am a completely different person now, and a much better man. I know what friendship is, and conditional love, and I know that what we had was truly a false existence. What I thought was love was a bunch of people judging and condemning me for struggling with chemical imbalances.

I hope all works out well with your fiancée. I really do want you to be happy and to heal from the events of the past. You are a good person on a whole, and I think setting boundaries important.

Best to you. Continue to grow. It's important.