I'm going to go against the grain here, and offer up another perspective. I know people here have already chosen their positions and brandished their pitchforks, but having been through some of this (from both sides!), I felt like chiming in with my own experience.

I cheated, once. My wife and I had been married for 10 years, at the time. I loved her, then. I despised cheaters. I'm a goddamn romantic, and the very concept of betraying love was anathema to me. I loathed cheaters, and the very concept. Particularly because a few years into our marriage, my wife nearly cheated on me. I found out, confronted her, we nearly split up, we worked things out, she severed all ties with him, life went on.

Years went by. And then, it happened. I was talking with a female buddy of mine. We'd known each other for years. She was also friends with my wife. And something was different, that day...she was talking to me differently than usual. It seemed a bit more intimate, a bit...flirty, almost? I ignored it. But it kept happening. And then...I was flirting back. I don't know why...I didn't love my wife any less, this was just exciting. It was NEW. After 10 years of only one woman, of no flirting, of no truly new experiences, here was something new, and different, and thrilling. And I was enthralled.

It quickly got more involved, and explicit. I felt like I was being swept into a whirlpool. I felt like I was someone else. I wanted to resist, and another part of me didn't. This was exhilarating! How could I stop?? I mean, it's just talk...right? I'm just exploring some feelings. The talk continued to escalate. And suddenly my world shifted.

Here was someone new...a real person, an individual who cared about me, and thought about me, and wanted me. And I wanted her, and thought about her. I never dreamed I could venture down this road, but here I was. How did this happen? When did this happen? I don't know, but here I am! I'm only human. I can rationalize that this is wrong, but it feels so compelling, so exciting. Life has been so stale, and now it feels thrilling and new and alive...

And I ran with it. I'll skip the particulars at this point. But it came to a head later, and now I'm divorced and alone. I still care about my ex-wife. I never stopped loving her, or being attracted to her. I just got carried away with a situation I never saw coming, and I was weak and human. And I can't stop coming back to the thought that your wife confessed everything as soon as she returned.

I don't know your relationship. I don't know you or your wife. I just know myself, and what I went through. And I know that in relationships, nothing is ever truly black and white.

Vote as you please...I'm just telling it as I've lived it.