once you were ready, she'd drop anyone she was seeing and cared about like a bad habit

Yeah, its pretty fucked up of me to have expected that. It was never a conscious thought, but definitely an expectation, looking back on it.

I do genuinely feel happy for her that she found someone she liked so much. He treats her the way she wants to be treated, and engages her interests well. He seems pretty cool to me, and I think we could be great friends. I guess I'm just butthurt because we had previously agreed we'd feel things out together, in an inclusive way, and it just sort of feels like she got really attached in a short period of time, and those agreements just nulled out.

I thinking of just reducing most of our contact, while she does as she pleases and I sort out my feelings.