ok this has been fairly recent but it haunts me alot.
i had night shifts at my job. It was always a boring shift so i searched for things to do. Gambling was my go-to. Online gambling.
So every night shift i would gamble, when my money ran out i'd use money from the joint account with my wife, it wasnt alot, 200 tops. And despite my wife being heartbroken everytime she saw i used money that was ours, and me feeling enormous regret I always gambled again and didn't consider getting help.
Then on my night shift from 29-30 march I lost my money and our money again and i panicked. I then used 1700 euros from the bank card that belonged to my company. I did not consider the consequences.
When the morning shift came I was afraid of going home because my wife would at least see that i emptied the joint account. So I pretended i still had work to do and stayed at the office.
When I finally went home in the afternoon I checked the amount I gambled and that was when the panick came.
I got home, my wife was angry and we talked briefly, I went upstairs and started googling how to hide what I had done, which was not a reliable option.
I went downstairs, calmly said to my wife that i had to make a phone call to someone from the office and would do that in the shed, for privacy.
I called my sister and completely broke down, I was laying on the ground, hardly getting a word out, begging my sister for a solution, saying that i didnt dare to tell my wife and i didnt want her to leave me. My sister told me I had to tell my wife, I could not keep this a secret.
After a while I went back in and upon seeing me my wife wanted to come and comfort me, I told her to sit down and I told her what I had done.
At first shock, then a mix of emotions. Her legs gave up on her and she was just sitting on the floor bawling her eyes out. we had just been married for 3 months and bid on our dream house. She is the sweetest woman you have ever seen, softspoken, but now she was completely out of it.
My family came over and comforted us (mainly my wife, which im grateful for) But that day and the following days she cried often in the most horribly broken way and I can not get that image out of my head.
She stayed with me though, it's still hard sometimes but I got therapy and am starting my new job monday