There was a 28 year age difference between us. He was my first real relationship (in my early 20's. The sex was great but emotions were tough: he loved me but didn't like me unless I was doing domestic chores at his house (we didn't live together, ever). I wasn't out, and I loved him but used physical pursuits to supplicate emotional connection. Being desired in the heat of the moment was the same as being appreciated.
Now, I don't want to get anyone wrong: 80% of the relationship (9 years) was mostly positive. I thought he was cultured, charming and he had a great laugh. But he was extremely rigid- my visits, my chores, the schedule in which I was supposed to be in his presence, our day plans- everything had to be as agreed to the letter or there would be bitter poutiness. If I was supposed to be at his house at 4:30 sun for supper I couldn't be there at 4:35. There was no deviation from the plan allowed. I was expected not to speak during tv time and balked at when contradictory. And there was no talking things out if I was annoyed or upset. It was just, I dunno, taking vitamins at some point. There were cultural issues too (,I'm biracial, he was obsessed with mammies because he wanted one as a kid) and he never hesitated to point out all the things he accomplished by my age (we had very different upbringings and everything was a lot cheaper in his day). He told me he treated me like a child because of our age difference. We were never equals.
I treated going out on dates and hooking up as a venting mechanism. Soak up positive chemistry/emotional affection, get my fix and go back and polish the furniture or install the air conditioner. It was a reward I could give myself for putting up with his demands and distance. For always having to be around and out of the way. For being someone's house cat in community college.
He wasn't paying my bills, I wasn't dependent on him, I just couldn't get myself to leave. Until I hit 31 we went from seeing each other half the week to once a month. We took a lot of nice trips and did fun stuff. We just didn't speak the same emotional language and I reacted poorly.