I was too young to handle my marriage. I didn’t know who I was and I didn’t properly understand who I was marrying because she lived in a different country and I was willing to accept any love that was coming my way. I left my country and the stakes were incredibly high so I looked past any potential pitfalls and got married very quickly. I had a lot of issues that I hadn’t worked on or even knew I had until later. Stress came and we stopped having sex nearly as often as I needed (6 months here 9 months there) and I felt neglected which triggered my dormant abandonment issues which in turn triggered my sex addiction so I stepped out to try and feel safe. It was a horrible time in my life. I came clean years and years later when I realized the relationship was just not balanced and we divorced because I knew she shouldn’t ever trust me again. By cheating I unseated her from that position in my life and I never really saw her the same no matter how much I tried to hide it or forget it. We co-parent semi-successfully now but I didn’t love myself for a long time. We are both getting to better places that the marriage itself was kind of lulling us out of the ability to get to.