Haven't talked to one of my brothers in about eight years. He was in and out of my life all through my childhood, eventually he had a big enough fight with my father to just basically run away for good. Didn't even tell me he was leaving (I was away at college at the time) despite the fact that I was an adult at this point and maybe we could have salvaged something.

He still blames our parents for his failings. Whether it be school (never graduated college after multiple attempts, didn't even get an associates even though he was taking money from the family for classes), financial failings (parents are still paying off his loans because he dodges calls), or his love life, which was always a mess. Apparently he blames me for taking my parents side.

When he left that last time it was the nail in the coffin for me. While I too would love to live without my abusive father in my life, I just can't forgive the way my brother never attempted to maintain any contact with me. He was my big brother and I really missed him as a kid. When I was convinced he just didn't consider me in his actions at all, I stopped considering him in mine.

He reaches out on my birthday through facebook now. I haven't answered because I'm trying too hard to get my adult life together and while I've considered the whole he's my brother thing... he hasn't acted like it and I just don't feel safe inviting his toxicity into my life.