I've never been in the shadows academically or in terms of life 'success', but certainly in terms of social spheres I have been. My older brothers (I have 4) were very very popular; one in particular (let's call him Fred) nearly became a local celebrity.　Apart from my closest friends, my name for most of High School became Fred's-little-brother or more commonly, 'mini-Fred'. When people met me for the first time they always seemed really excited, but then the second they realized I wasn't like my brother (Fred was very outgoing, extroverted and funny and I was about as introverted as you could get), they would start acting like there was something wrong with me. Being called 'mini-Fred' by my crush who was one school year younger than me was a slight bludgeon in the face.

But I think in larger families like mine the way we live in the shadows is often directly in family life. When people find out I'm the youngest, they always say "that means the most spoiled, right?! RIGHT?! HAHAHA!!", but I really don't think that's true.

I know that my brothers and family are very caring and protective of me, and they don't treat me badly, but despite being well into my 20s, I'm still treated like the 'baby'. Around the dinner table I'm always the subject of jokes rather than involved in them. People talk down to me in a way they wouldn't dare talk to other family members. After years of being told to keep quiet and not bother anyone, it's hard to break out of that habit and I struggle to talk with anyone in my family on an eye-to-eye level. My brothers are now always bashing me for not being able to be eye-to-eye with them, which makes me feel guilty, even though they kind of made me this way. I've spoken to other youngest family members and lot of them feel the same and often are the ones that feel 'misunderstood' in their teen years and go through depression. I grew up thinking my brothers were the coolest and I so badly wanted to be one of them but they always excluded me, I always felt like I was an annoying little shit to everyone.

I've since moved very far away from my hometown and I've suddenly gained independence and the depression has faded away. I love my family and I keep in touch, but I have no intention of moving back. I know they aren't being malicious at all, I'm just the youngest.