It's like a terrible relationship for me. The first time you try opiates, you get that infatuation feeling that you can't shake. You think about the way she makes you feel when she's not around. You've never felt like that before, it was exhilarating though. You start texting her more and more, slowly becoming dependent without even realizing. Then, before you know it and before the two of you've even discussed it, you're dating and going to spend your lives together.

Everything is great, she makes your mundane life livable and exciting. No one else matters because you're with her all the time, she's all consuming. You don't need to see your family but if you really have to, fuck it, I'm bringing her with me. Then all the sudden it's different, you can't pinpoint how or why but you can just tell she seems withdrawn.

She goes to her sisters for 2 days and leaves you a note. I'll fucking kill her, I swear. These are the two worst days of your life. You break the TV in frustration of not being able to be with her, I'd never leave her, how could she! Then she comes back, you score and forget about it...

Shes going to her sisters more and more these days. You're a wreck without her by your side. How could one person have this much sway and influence over me!? It has to stop. It's been bad for months and I hadn't even noticed. I'm not even me anymore. I think I need to go to my sister's now.

I've been clean a week and am finally starting to feel like a person again. I hear my phone buzz... It's her. I looked at the clock and it's 2am. Stop. Put down the phone. It's a booty call. That's all. Be strong. Call a friend.

You've got butterflies as you drive to her house in the darkness of the night. It's 3:30 now, just you on the road. You've arrived. You type, "I'm here." Your finger is hovering over send......

You get the idea, I'm high and rambling.