Let me speak from my life, lived.
I've been married seventeen years to a truly amazing woman. I mean, we all think the women in our lives are amazing, right? But she IS.
Now, I've been poly all my life. I shared my puppy loves in third grade. My wife had never been exposed to it, but I saw an extremely open heart in her when I met her, it was one of a thousand things that attracted me to her. And so we talked about poly before we married in 2000. We talked, on and off and on and on, about it...for fourteen years.
She had bariatric surgery in 2013 and lost 200 pounds. Her libido went through the ROOF. Even had I been a staunch monogamist I might have opened the relationship out of sheer self-preservation. But it had always been agreed that she would go first, so that she could see that my love for her didn't decrease because of others, and neither did her love for me.
Now, she and I are compatible absolutely everywhere...except sexually. We have different wants and needs and, ironically enough, the bariatric surgery triggered menopause, which altered her pheromones, which made me suddenly not attracted to her sexually anymore.
I hadn't asked for this. Normally this is a deathblow to monogamous relationships.
But I love her.
I love her widely and deeply.
I live with her and her other partner. I have another partner of my own, with whom, for the first time in my life, I am sexually compatible. It makes me understand for the first time why people, particularly many men, obsess about sex. Sex for me has always been...nice. Warm. It's never been HOT. It is now. And what makes it so much hotter for me is that I truly love this partner, too. It's similar in many ways to the love I have for my wife...and different in others. They are, of course, different people, and I cherish both of them for who they are.
I know nothing about her sex life with my metamour (her other partner) except that she, too, is experiencing sex like she never has before. I have no desire to know more, but I am very happy for her.
This life of abundant love is challenging, sometimes, but it is INTENSELY REWARDING. I would choose this over and over again, because it's what I do. I love.