I understand it is a recurring thing. Mine is too (probably not to your degree, though). My difficulties are often of my own making by overly focusing on myself and my degree of happiness. And the more I focus on it, the more anxious and worried and the less happy I am. Aka “am I happy now? Why not? I was happier yesterday. How can I get it back? Why is it so hard to feel peace?”

Do you see all the “I” in that? Is a better question: “What can I learn about God’s nature when I read the Bible today”? Or “Am I trusting God in this and his direction or am I acting for own interests?”

God is infinite. We are not. Is it any wonder we get bored and frustrated when we stay focused on ourselves? He is infinitely captivating. Do you ever wonder why in Revelation the people worshiped the Lord continually? It isn’t because he is making them.....

But, there is hope for this life. Jesus said his yoke is light. That is hope. Matthew 6.25-34? Even in Paul’s many struggles and as much as he loved Jesus and was ready to be with him, he still didn’t give up and shared his love of Jesus with others.

This life is God’s plan and he didn’t intend it to be a stop gap to something else. Where do you see in the Bible that God doesn’t value life here? Why was Jesus sacrificing himself (in addition to his continual submission and obedience), such a big deal? Granted, there are temptations here and now, but that brings us closer to God as we trust in Jesus to give us strength. Hebrews 12.1-12? What we learn about who God is here is probably going to continue on in heaven.

Also, some of your problems are bigger than what is going to be fixed on the Internet. Happy to talk to you about how great God is, but I hope you are talking to a professional, too.