My situation might be a little unique, but I actually tried to have a relationship with my narcissistic parent, only to have them claim to be the victim and write me a very lengthy email basically telling me to “have a nice life”...we haven’t spoken since.

I really think what put an end to our communication is that everything always has to be on their terms. Do I regret it? No. I have a voice too, and deserve to be respected. I will say that I’m disappointed I don’t have that relationship with my parent that most people have, but at the same time I also know that what we had before was extremely unhealthy and a major source of anxiety and stress. I’ve also been doing counseling, which has helped immensely.

Now, I’m no expert so this is just my opinion, but I think the most important thing is to establish some clear boundaries. I really don’t think a healthy relationship is possible without some clear guidelines, and I believe the guidelines help to create that mutual respect and trust.

If there’s one book that I could recommend it is “Letting go of Shame” by Ronald and Patricia Efron. When I started reading it, I felt like the book was written specifically for me based on my own personal experience. It’s been great for trying to untangle the emotional mess that is my childhood, and help myself heal.