Story time (I'm sorry in advance that it's so long)!

A girl I knew in high school (let's call her J) took a "he-said, she-said" story about me cheating on a boyfriend and spread it through my high school during my sophomore year. It didn't matter that I didn't actually cheat on anybody. This rumor spread like wildfire and caused endless name-calling, more rumors spread, and I gained a reputation as a "slut" without ever even having had sex. She knew I lived in an abusive household but possibly didn't know how depressed I was (nor cared); she thrived on gossip and drama, so selling me out was an easy way for her to get attention and have something to talk about with her friends. She effectively broke my boyfriend and I up and because both of them were extremely popular throughout the school and I was not, I easily became "the bad guy" and people I didn't even know knew that it was cool to make fun of me. I did not ever consider her my friend, but we shared many mutual friends who no longer respected me after this.

I almost committed suicide because I was surrounded by these "friends" who would insult me to my face "jokingly" and then continue behind my back after I left. Though J was not my friend, she was often part of the regular group that I spent time with. They would make fun of me for talking about my abuser and downplay my home life "it's not that bad." "You just want attention." (Bitch, you don't live there...) My car was constantly messed with (spray painted, peanut butter'd, dog poop) but they would deny it (and I could never outright prove it was them). People that knew of my "reputation" tried to make me do things with them, then would get pissed that I wasn't so ready to put out easily... This whole thing seriously ruined my ability to trust people enough to become friends, and I eventually went to counseling in college to deal with my self-hatred, depression, and to actually talk to someone who gave a fuck about my shitty childhood.

Also while still in high school, another student (let's call him D) was another "friend" who knew that I was pretty depressed and vulnerable. I confided in this person about a lot of my problems at home and with other friends, I considered us "close" but I didn't have feelings for him. One time, the subject of sex came up and he disclosed that he had never done anything with anyone - not even kissed. At this point, I had done a bit more, understood his frustrations. He asked me if I could touch him "so he knew what it was like at least once." We met up once and I touched him consensually. No sex, hands only. I remember even trying to kiss him to feel less weird and like I was doing something for someone that cared about me.

After that, he felt obligated for more whenever we were alone, even well after I began dating others. A few times, he offered to give me rides to our shared after school program and refused to let me out of his car until I touched him. It did not matter whether or not I had a boyfriend, he would be adamant that I had to touch him or he wouldn't unlock the door. After I did it, he would go back to acting silly and played it off as a joke. I stopped accepting rides from him and stopped putting myself in situations where I would be alone with him. He showed up uninvited at my house a few times, and when I refused to meet up privately with him again, he went right back to badmouthing me and spreading rumors with that "friend" group J was in. Eventually, I found actual friends in college and broke away from that group. It's funny the lengths desperate people will go to for social interaction... at the time, I thought it was better to have shitty friends than to have no friends...

Fast forward to now. I recently found out that J & D have been together for the last few years. They are engaged and presumably marrying in the next year or so. I haven't spoken to them in almost 10 years now. I feel kind of silly even asking this, I almost never think about them anymore and I have moved on from many things that used to torment me. But there's a part of me that is conflicted with wanting to at least have that information be known - but my intentions aren't necessarily good???

Like, part of me would definitely want someone to tell me that my spouse/spouse to be harassed/assaulted someone sexually. Good intentions. But, part of me wants a bit of revenge... like, if I waited to say something after the (likely) pricey wedding... My brain keeps saying "these people made your life hell for YEARS, they have no right to be so happy when they made you so miserable!" The demon on my shoulder keeps wanting me to send an anonymous email with a shitty line about how much she loves gossip (and then spill the beans). I also don't feel obligated to tell her specifically because she was so awful to me, like I said she was never my friend. But do I still owe it to her as a female?? Even bigger part of my brain keeps saying "this is dumb, just drop it, say nothing, move on." Smaller part of my brain keeps saying "You owe this to yourself. You never deserved the treatment you got, they would deserve every bit of this."

Wow this is long. Sorry!

Short version: High school "friends" were garbage people. The guy took advantage of me/made me touch him multiple times. Douche and douchette are engaged now. Do I tell the girl her spouse was/is abusive? Is it wrong if I wait until after they're married for a little payback for their prior shittiness?