For car, i agree with you. From economic/ financial perspective, having a car is not the best option, but it’s more of a convenience. I dated a guy who doesn’t have a car. Every time I suggested a date that was more than 30 mins drive from where he lived, like trying a new restaurant/ cafe/bar, events, hiking, parks…he showed little interest. if I insist, he would ask me to drive and take naps instead of having conversations if it’s a long drive and never offer to split the gas or buy me food when I drive. I like to do day trips over the weekend, try new things, and explore new neighborhoods which might require driving, but if the guy doesn’t have a car or doesn’t need a car, it means he probably spend most of his time at home, in his neighborhood, same places over and over again. It’s more of a lifestyle mismatch for me.

For cost of living/ housing, you are correct. I dated two guys saying exactly the same. I’m in my early 30s, I work hard to pay for a nice apartment and soon to be able to afford a property by myself. When I look for a partner, I am looking for someone I can spend time together, do things together, and support each other emotionally. Financial side is just a bonus. I think it is wise to discuss finance when you are exclusive or see a future with someone, but if the guy says it early on, it doesn’t feel right. When a guy mainly looking for someone to share the cost of living, he either doesn’t want to invest much in the relationship emotionally or there is no difference between me or another girl, I can be easily replaced. I went on a second date with a guy, he said the same thing “is more risk averse to get married, because if one person loses job, the other person can still pay for the mortgage” that sounds correct. However, during the date he ordered a few round of drinks, a few appetizers, and I only had one drink and a few bites because I thought we just met for a drink and I was not that hungry. When the bill came, he naturally expected me to split the bill because I offered to split on the first date and I did split the bill, but we order similar amount of food on first date. I felt being used at some level and he did that on purpose. A thought just came up to me “if we actually get married, he probably just quit his job and asked me to pay for the mortgage”. Another guy I dated said “you know two salary can buy a bigger house” and criticized his friend’s girlfriend earns much less than his friend. We went on a few dates, and he rejected me at the end. I kind of have the feeling that he found someone who can buy a much bigger house than I can.